Manhunt in Space

This is a good episode, with one of my favorite inventions: the bean-bag pants. A great idea from the Mads! Those pants are actually a pretty awesome, I would totally get some. The other gem of this episode is the skit where Mike Nelson plays Winky- trust me, it is worth it. The riffing for the movie is solid, with strange side-kick Winky and equally strange young Bobby as fodder for the bots and Joel. The short, a segment from General Hospital, is pretty fantastic too. Enjoy!

General Hospital

Crow: “Ew, here comes Nurseferatu!”

Joel: “Here are some more letters about how unfeeling you are, Doctor”

Tom: “Nothing an expensive operation can’t complicate!”

Patient: “Doctor, I have never heard if a hiatus hernia before” Crow: “Are you calling me a liar?! Get out! GET OUT!”

Tom: “Well, the body sees a hernia as a series of ones and zeroes”

Crow: “Here, let me punch you in the sternum to simulate pain”

Manhunt in Space

Tom: “Hey look, it’s the MST3K logo!” Joel: “Shh! They’re not supposed to know about that” Tom: “Oh! *whistles innocently*”

Bob: “Something has neutralized every bit of our equipment” Crow: “Even my acting!”

Cadet: “Report from Cassa-7, sir” Secretary: “Well, let’s have it” Tom: “It says: HEEEEEELLLLP!”

Rocky: “Professor Newton,” Joel (as Rocky): “How are the fig cookies coming along?”

Tom: “Hang on a minute, gotta put my head in a salad spinner”

Rocky: “Haha, good work, Bobby. Oh, Winky?” Winky: “Yes, boss?” Crow (as Rocky): “Jettison Bobby!”

Bobby: “Aw, why do I have to miss all the excitement?” Crow: “Because we don’t like you and you are a bad person”

Tom: “And hey, did you get a load of those really cheap props made to look like bona-fide space equipment?” (Joel and Crow look around at SOL set) “Hehehe…yeah”

Winky: “Ah, it’s this air! Like Paris in spring” Tom (as Rocky): “But Paris was destroyed in the apocalypse, Winky”

Crow: “She’s wearing a triple Menorah on her head! Hanukkah, Hanukkah, Hanukkah!”

Crow: “She’s angry when she’s beautiful”

Evil Guy: “You have something good in that secret to invisibility you have, Rocky” Crow: “Ralph Ellison wants you”

Crow: “You let a guy named Winky fool you?!?!”

The skit with Mike Nelson as Winky is PRICELESS! My favorite part: Mike: “Yeah, uh, Clarissa, why don’t you start the hot oils warming up, and I will be right up, okay!” Tom: “Wha- Oh my, Winky, that’s your MOTHER!”

(Winky is singing Bobby to sleep) Joel: “That kid is going to have the darkest dreams he’s ever had”

Joel: “Why is that ladder going sideways?” Tom: “Cause it’s SPACE, get it?”

Warrior of the Lost World

Been a while, but starting out with a fantastic Joel episode. Very very good. Here are some amazing quotes. Starring Jimmy Carter!! =)

“And Claude Monet directed this picture”

“You know, it’s not so much the apocalypse, it’s the humidity”

“The motorcycle is close-captioned for the hearing impaired!”

Computer: “Bad Mothers! Bad Mothers!” Joel: “And the bad fathers who love them, today on Donahue” Tom: “How does the computer know they had bad mothers?”

Joel: “Oh come on, you’d think in the future they’d have better graphics than Pong”

Tom: “Life’s easy without the Miranda, eh Sarge?”

Crow: “Gee, Ohio looks great after the apocalypse”

Crow: “If that’s God, I’m quitting”

Tom: “I always pictured heaven to be like Ellis Island” Crow: “There was a big rush after the apocalypse, but now things have died down”

Crow: “Okay, somebody put down the Styrofoam”

Crow: “Wednesday is Nazi night, Germans drink free”

Crow: “More ineffective authoritarians on the way!”

Jimmy Carter: Missing in Action, The Enforcer

Joel: “Chitty Chitty Kill Kill!”

Tom: “Tonight’s TV lineup, we have Black Nazis, White Ninjas, and Beige Berets”

Tom: “Megaweapon died tragically today. Investigators still have no clues about the mysterious explosion that took the life of the beloved Megaweapon. His widow has asked that donations be sent to the Department of Transportation”

Tom: “You know, if you’re gonna pay to see the apocalypse, you should take the helicopter tour- you see it all!”

“This better not be another large talking computer”

“It’s hard to know where his lips end and his cheeks begin”

The skits were not quite as strong for this episode as some of the others, but the riffing of the movie is fantastic and well worth seeing.

Holiday Delay

Well, it has been a while, but I really needed a break. Got many more episodes to watch, so I will update again soon, but not tonight...

The Rebel Set

A great episode from season 4. The movie was pretty interesting and there were a number of running jokes in the movie that I greatly enjoyed. Season 4 is definitely one of my favorite seasons, and this episode is yet another good one.

Short: Johnny at the Fair

“Olsen and Johnson: keeps babies soft”

“Prozac at work in society”

Tom: “Johnny feels dark hands pushing him onward; the voices in his head get meaner”

Crow: “It will be the first of many encounters with bouncers for Johnny”

THE REBEL SET

“They’re having a goatee staring contest”

“Oh, it’s a little late for acting lessons, they’ve started filming already”

Tom: “Hey guys, if this is what being ‘Beat’ was all about, I’d rather be a shallow Post-Boomer…like you” Joel:“…Hey!”

“A writer of some ability once remarked: a rose by any other name would still have thorns” Tom: “I think you’re misquoting”

“Congratulations on your association with me on this magnificent undertaking. It will not only be financially rewarding, but it might also bring us fame- anonymous of course” Crow: “Oh well that’s…huh?”

Joel: “It’s the Flying Nun!" Crow: "It’s Vertigo! Tom: "It’s Roman Holiday! And much much more!”

“Tonight’s episode: milk! Does a body DEAD”

“Ah, the Blue Ridge Mountains of Chicago!”

“The movie’s not over yet, and they’re striking the set”

“Hole, hole, hole, garage sale, hole, hole, hole”

Tom: “Hey, it’s a picnic casket!” Crow: “Maybe they think they are picking up Moses” Joel: “It’s more of a light, summer casket”

“And thus did Samson overcame the Philistine” Crow: “By hitting him over the head with a sitting stick and wearing a priest costume? I didn’t know that”

“Go in peace, sin no more, I am outta here!”

“Gangs of chain-wielding priests! Next, on Geraldo”

“We’ve taken her live son, and replaced it with this dead son”

And there were also some great skits: “Writing down the Tracks with Merritt Stone” and Tom Servo as Hercule Poirot ("Murder on the Dis-orient Express!") as Tom and the gang try to solve the age-old question...WHO IS MERRITT STONE!?!?

Mad Monster

So, I just watched Mad Monster, not a KTMA episode like I said previously that I would watch, but still an early episode, being the third in the first season of MST3K on the Comedy Channel. I was prepared for "slower" episode, but I was absolutely amazed with this one. First of all, I was so blown away with the acting talents of Trace Beaulieu- having seen only season 3 and later up to this point- and never realized how he really was so natural as Dr. Forrester and Crow, even early on. This was also my first Josh Weinstein episode (Dr. Laurence and Tom Servo) and, not to be mean, can see why he did not last on the show. His acting as Dr. Larry was a bit too forced, and it was very noticeable next to Trace the total difference in acting ability. Weinstein's performance as Servo, however, was very good- his line delivery was great and fairly natural. Overall, the episode was solid, and I am extremely glad I saw it. Below are a few of my favorite quotes, including the short "Radar Men from the Moon: Part Two":

Commander Cody: “Where’s that canister of nitrous oxide?” Man:“Right here” Crow: “Ok, who’s first?”

“Why do they have Groucho Marx mustaches on their helmets?”

“Let’s see, a four letter word that means ‘lunar’…planet? No, too many letters…”

“Rock-a-bye monster, on the little bed/When you wake up, some townsfolk will be dead”

“Abraham Lincoln! Isaac Asimov! An Amish farmer! The Quaker Oats man! Dr. Cornelius!”

“He just became he own best friend!”

“What’s grandma smoking?”

“I’ll have a Shirley Temple to go”

“What good can come from tampering with the normal laws of nature?” Joel: “Teflon?” Servo: “Microwave milkshakes?” Crow: “Room air fresheners?”

“I am so glad that the Wolf Man is able to keep his sport coat buttoned through all this”

The SINGLE best thing about this episode, great as it was, were the skits. Oh.My.God. I LOVED the skit Tom Servo hit on a blender and also the skit when Joel switched the heads on Tom and Crow (Servo-Croatians). They were some of the best skits I have seen in the show PERIOD. I also like that Joel had trouble keeping a straight-face at times during these two skits- he rarely smiles in the show, which is something I guess I only just realized, because when he did smile during these skits it surprised me. Huh. His character is just so heavily sarcastic and he is mostly dead-pan, so I guess smiling is not really his thing. Sorry, personal revelation got me side-tracked =)

One more detail that I forgot to mention: unlike later episodes, the riffs were not a constant stream, and there were a few missed opportunities, but it actually worked, for me at least, because I was able to actually hear what was going on in the main movie, something that occasionally annoyed me in later episodes. I know, I know, they are making fun of these movies because they are bad and who cares if you miss a few lines here and there, especially in ultra-crappy movies like Manos, but a half-decent B-movie actually has some good elements and I would like to enjoy them every so often. My overall impression: great episode + funny short + HILARIOUS skits = moving onto personal favorite list...

Prince of Space

Decided to rewatch Prince of Space...great great episode. Here are some of my favorite quotes:

“A rare, Godzilla free day”

“We like it very much”

“I am the lemon zester of destruction!”

“I have no powers but I can skip reasonably well”

Business Boy: “He’s evil. Evil people always come out at night” Crow: “Although, when evil people are mating, they will appear at dawn”

Prince of Space: “I told you, your weapons have no affect on me!” Servo: “It is my considered advice that you discontinue use of said weapon”

“Empirical data suggests the accuracy of my earlier contention that your weapons against me are without merit”

“Allow me to reference my earlier comments on how your weapons are ineffective”

“You just opened up a whole can of jellied whoop-ass”

General:“Oh, Colonel Manicotta, come in please” Crow:“I understand you’re stuffed with cheese”

“How come you’re so old, Dad? Did you have me when you were like 60 or something?”

“Uh, sir, you left an egg on your chair”

“His power apparently lies in choosing incompetent enemies”

Crow: “Whoa, he knocked him slightly off balance! He must be reported to Amnesty International!” Mike: “Or the USDA”

“Chickens are a cruel people”

“He has defeated us numerous times! What makes him think he can do it again?”

Crow: “Seeing these guys, it’s hard to believe that human beings ever have sex”

“You know, this movie made me want to renounce my Toyota”

This episode is hilarious, with a few slightly over-the-top Japan bashing moments. Maybe I haven't seen enough episodes to hear them riff on many other countries, but the treatment of Japan seemed a little harsh sometimes. Well, they do like to pick on Italy too. I guess that those two countries supplied a lot of the movies the MST3K guys watched, what with the zillion Gamera movies or the bajillion Hercules movies. Not exactly a balanced sample.

Well, anyway, the comments about Japan did not seriously detract anything for me, still one of my favorite episodes ever. And if you like boot-blacking, this movie is for you. I, for one, like boot-blacking very much...

...the hell?

Alright, here are some of my favorite quotes. This list will probably expand over time...


“AHH! It’s the HOOCHie CHOOCHie fish!!”
Devil Fish

“Can you have a platonic relationship before Plato?”
Hercules against the Moon Men

“I’m a scientist! I don’t think, I observe”
Dr. F, forgot which episode...

Tom: “Member FDI- MURDER!” Crow:“Death guaranteed for up to 50,000 DIE!”
Hobgoblins

Tommy:"You can do MAGIC things!” Crow: “It’s called evil, kid”
Pod People

“I have no powers, but I can skip reasonably well!”
Prince of Space

“He’s either gonna win the Nobel Prize or the Heisman Trophy”
The Brain that Wouldn’t Die

“This is not a movie, this is an employment program”
Magic Sword

“DO SOMETHING! God!”
Manos, the Hands of Fate**

Cain: “Only the good die young” Crow: “The rest of us are morally ambiguous which explains our random dying patterns”
Gunslinger

“When threatened she gains the strength of a thousand trollops!”
Hobgoblins


**I love this part because Joel just loses it while watching the movie. He is just so obviously frustrated with this. I have posted the link below for the clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0_f5fkrCTA

Oh man. Gotta love this show.

P.S. I left out some of the running joke quotes (Rowsdower, Watch out for Snakes, Hi-Keeba, etc) to just focus on some of my personal, and somewhat less famous, favorites.